habocath knows and sees japanese I

Here is how I shall do my morning Pimsleur lessons from now on, rather than merely listen and repeat:

I will also practice stroke order, which I’ve been needing to do to make the kana stick in my head! Continue reading “habocath knows and sees japanese I”


strength camp: it’s okay to be a “cocky bastard”

I don’t watch fitness “gurus” on YouTube anymore aside from Scooby every now and then (I don’t go on YouTube much at all anymore, actually), but when I did this guy had my attention.

Out of the handful of his videos I’ve watched, I agree with this the most:

There’s pride, but then there’s hiding a candle under a table as mentioned here.

This was mostly before I discovered Alan Watts so I was still in full anti-theist mode so all his “hippy talk” made me roll my eyes. Actually, it was a follower of his on Facebook who introduced me to Watts in the first place, after I asked about meditation. (I was having yet another of my emotional meltdowns and desperate for some way to help myself.)

I gratitude of habocath

I am grateful for bodybuilding.

It was the first mission and passion I followed — aside from Internetting, video-gaming, and pirated TV/movie which was pretty much the only things I had done with my life until that point in between brief instances of creativity like Photoshopping something for an image board or instant messenger. (Remember those?)

I learned much from both successes and failures (moreso the latter) such things as discipline and hard work, and a sense of progress and accomplishment, and how much better it feels to fuel myself with good nutrition.

After five years I finally escaped obesity, the second-most impactful thing for alleviating my lifelong struggle with anxiety and depression. Maybe I shouldn’t say “escape” as I’ll always have to fight to remain not-fat. But I’ve come to enjoy the war and the battles.

alan watts: why the urge to improve yourself?

Out of all his lectures I’ve heard so far, this one has has had the strongest impact on me and my changed worldview:

Self-improvement? No, I won’t make that mistake again. Now I do all that I do because it would be a lot more fun that way, now and for the future. Or at least I am under enough egoic illusion to believe so. Which is fine, for that is how it was meant to be.

matthew 6:25-34

I’ll probably never get around to finishing the Bible, but from what little I’ve read, this message from Jesus Christ has had the most impact on me:

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

habocath’s “religious experience”

I call it that because I don’t know what else to call it.

I’ve always had the problem of overthinking problems, blowing up their significance manyfold.

On the last day of 2016, I awoke with a terrible crick in my neck. Enough that I almost could not A-RISE from bed. Also, once again, I was struggling with insomnia that day, which for some reason seems to dramatically diminish my mood and ability to cope with life.

If it were mere physical agony, I would have shrugged it off. I’ve always been tough when it comes to pain tolerance, but a sissy against emotional stress.

Recall the second line. Continue reading “habocath’s “religious experience””