gimme food

Oh boy. This will be the first week I’ve power-walked on my work commute every day and man am I hungry! Even mixing in ground flax into my daily 4-lb broccoli and an extra ~1/2 cup peanut butter mixed into my daily ~1/4-gallon / 1-liter homemade Greek yogurt (which normally already has ~1/4 cup mix of ground chia and hemp) and I still keep getting sooo hoooongry more often than not that I “need” to stop by CVS or BP for a pint of ice cream or bag of beef jerky just so I don’t feel like fainting on the way home (much harder to practice mindfulness/walking meditation when I’m struggling against yet another hunger knock)… only reason I didn’t pig out last night is I snacked on maybe 400-500 calories of parmesan tilapia from work before leaving. Maybe spending most of my free time reading books about Buddhism is overtraining my brain! And maybe listen to the… instructor (don’t know the proper name for “person at Buddhist ‘temple’ who leads meditation and teaches”) and the Buddha’s parable of the poisoned arrow in regards to less reading, more meditation — but I’m addicted to books right now…

why’d they choose this name

As it turns out, speaking this book’s title in conversation is… awkward!

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Also, just half-way through this and it’s made me realize that what I always thought of Alan Watts being “omg sooo deeep” was really just a simplified Made-For-Cable-TV spin of what lies in this book, which self-admits to itself being a generalized overview of thousands of pages from thousands of years of dissertations of mind, self, reality, nature, and so forth.

This stuff. It’s not a religion. It’s a declaration of war against the very foundations of everything I ever thought and felt I understood, up to and including what I honestly believe constitutes “I”. Thanks, Buddhism, for tricking me down such a vast rabbit hole and putting it into perspective just what a clueless, ignorant moron I really am!

making even crappy things is fun

Spent wa-ay too much time making this horrible wallpaper as a quick reference guide:

A Reminder.png

And it still ended up barely-readable on my dumbphone:

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Ah well, I had fun. Oh wait, there is no “I” oh em gee I am failing at Buddhism already!11! Continue reading “making even crappy things is fun”

imperfect timing

>tfw:
>doing stuff on computer
>bowels yelling at me louder and louder
>tell them to STFU because I’m busy
>eventually can ignore no longer
>run to bathroom
>sit down, begin
>front door says knock-knock
>W%$^U@%^#I
>am helpless to do naught but shout, “Be there in a minute!”
>hurry to finish
>run to bedroom
>throw blanket over myself
>run to front door
>a package awaits
>take a few moments to breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out
>open package
>oh mein gott, where to start?! Continue reading “imperfect timing”