anti-depressants = no

I don’t trust ’em:

• They’re pushed too hard for comfort, like flu vaccinations and anti-psychotics/Ritalin/etc for little boys in the 90’s; this makes me very suspicious: “salesman behavior” raises red flags.
• I’ve seen/read/heard of too many horror stories.
• I’d have to spend months and months “pill-shopping” for one that “works”, spending hundreds of dollars and dozens of hours performing the hated Doctor-Shuffle — and who knows what side-effects and toxins I’ll be saddled with in the meanwhile.
• I at least know what bad things alcohol will do to me. (The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.)
• Is “depression” even a thing? I’m not wholly convinced this isn’t just some made-up BS* to sell drugs so nobody has to actually, y’know, treat the problem rather than bandage the symptoms. If someone has a broken foot, would you hand them more comfortable shoes and tell them to piss off?
• I’ve personally-witnessed their total ineffectiveness — everyone I’m close to are on them and they’re each still miserable.

I’d rather feel bad than become an ADHD zombie with erectile dysfunction. That, and it would be the Ultimate Surrender: just about my entire Health & Fitness Lifestyle has been at root about not being on anti-depressants. My struggles, my pride, my one and only thing I’ve ever pursued to any measure of success, will all be taken away from me the moment I pop my first anti-depressant. No, that’s not rational — so what? Being unreasonable and loony just makes me like everyone else; and considering the stark raving hostility I’ve noted over and over against individualism, elitism, the “South Park goth” stereotype, and so forth (how else do you explain “desire to be different” used as an insult? I’ve even seen uttered “borderline critique of authority” and no, I have yet to find a more sickening phrase); isn’t that a win?

There. I’ve spelled it out in plain, pure English. You can SHUT UP about it now. Thank you.

* Considering how often whoever’s in charge of defining mental illnesses and so forth, the whole thing just seems to be politically-{or whatever}biased arbitrarism — two examples: is Asperger’s Syndrome its own thing or just a fancy name for part of the autism spectrum? No one can seem to get this straight: how often have these guys swung between “yes, well.. no.. no wait yes! wait–” in the past several years? And recall, in the 40’s and 50’s these same people declared homosexuality to be a mental disorder! Related: not even a decade ago, “normal” introvert behaviors were treated as some sort of disease, and for the most part are still generally considered undesirable; what are the chances that, should the likes of Einstein and Tesla been born in this day and age, their brilliance would’ve been labeled “avoidant personality disorder” or whatever and snuffed out by anti-depressants and their ilk so these guys would be good little unfeeling cogs flipping burgers for their corporate massuhs their whole lives? Though that’s probably better than either of them slowly but surely becoming so fed up with the misunderstanding and the loneliness and the bullying from every angle that they eventually snap and {redacted}!

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Author: ma'habocath

ma'habocath knows some, tells much. ma'habocath knows few things others do. This one is a live-alone, full-time burger-flipper with an odd mind and too much to say. ma'hab always tries the best ma'hab can to keep up: • Chores • Bodybuilding and other health-nuttery • Japanese language studies • Culinary experimentation (see “other health-nuttery”) • Exploration of newfound spiritual territory • Exploration of my Self • Figuring out how to socialize well enough, mostly face-to-face • Backlogs: books, heavy metal, anime • Blogging, chatting, texting, and talking to whomever will listen about all of the above