Looks don’t matter, just be yourself!
— Attractive People
You can’t buy happiness.
Mo’ money, mo’ problems.
— Makes >50k/yr, not <15k
Calorie-counting?! Live a little, enjoy your food!
— Naturally high metabolism, doesn’t struggle with obesity (former or not) and/or an eating disorder and/or junk food addiction, isn’t pursuing six-pack abs and/or some other athletic endeavor
In moderation, or just say no. What could be easier than not doing it? See, I’m doing it right now!
–Isn’t addicted to something or other, e.g. alcohol, cigarettes, video games, Internet…
C’mon sport it’ll only take ten minutes, twenty at most!
— Doesn’t have issues with motivation, drive, energy, etc
It’s not the size that counts, but the motion of the ocean.
— >7″ not <6″
Embrace your quirks, it’s who you really are!
— Isn’t mentally ill and/or ‘strongly misaligned’ with current society AKA Incorrect. E.g.: crippling levels of depression, on the autism spectrum, schizophrenic, or merely introverted and/or more into cerebral/creative pursuits in a region where extroverts & other social butterflies / ‘salesman-types’ rule (AKA most the modern world, but especially the Corporate States of Freeburgerstan)
Stop pulling the Race/Woman/Gay/Trans Card already you wolf-crying baby.
Oh my god it’s just a word, and you people say it all the time so SHUT UP!
— Straight White Males
Turn that frown upside down! No need to be mad/sad all the time.
— I was raised by two loving & supportive parents, not poor and/or one or more other hundreds of other crappy life situations growing up, or was otherwise sheltered from the bad side of life for most of mine and therefore consider myself ‘depressed’ if I didn’t get laid this weekend or cut off in traffic coming home from work or my Red Lobster coupon expired yesterday