how to deal with the stubbornly wrong? just ask why.

ma’habocath has learned that innocently requesting an explanation is the sure-firest way to short-circuit another’s bunk and drivel. Nothing else this one has tried (from defending his position to name-calling) comes close to how effective the merest breath of “Why?” is at knocking down another’s entire house of cards. It’s really quite funny to watch them fumble and flop, desperately and angrily trying to re-stack their cards when every whispered “Why?” tornado-blows their bull right back all over the floor! Give ’em a little rope and they’ll hang themselves.

For example…

Everyone on the path of health & fitness is familiar with the ocean of half-truths and whole lies surrounding the topics of exercise, nutrition, and so-forth. And worse, anyone on this path will be assailed by well-meaning friends and family and not-so-well-meaning strangers and enemies all too willing to tell you why what you are doing is bad and wrong, whose methods and meanings are obvious in their malicious intent:

People who are sedentary and unhealthy love trying to take us “health nuts” down a notch. I just feel sorry for these people because what they are doing is so transparent.

–Uncle Scooby

This one could spend all day finding examples of “crab bucket mentality“/”tall poppy syndrome” so he will stop at one.


Anyway, instead of arguing with such people or telling them to muzzle it, try along the lines of this real-life example (again only one, for ma’hab could spend all day finding and posting more from his life and others’):

[when another spotted a giant pile of baby spinach on this one’s plate]
“That’s too much!”
“Why?”
[stare]
“Isn’t that bad?”
“How so?”
[stare]
“I-it’s too much!”
“Not for me.”
“Nevermind!”
[walks away in a huff]

No “but you’re wrong you big dumb idiot”, no long-winded corrections/justifications for what you’re doing. (Which in this one’s experience only invites more misconceptions/misconstruations  for you to justify/correct, which brings on more, and then more and more until finally you’re striking your head against the nearest wall to stop yourself from striking them in the face!)

All you have to do is gently tap the lamp in their direction, atop their words. If your argument is right and theirs wrong, the merest exposure under the subtle, burning glare of “Why?” will send it and them scurrying like an intrusion of cockroaches. You will know this is happening when they stare, stammer and sputter. No need to rub salt in their wound by gloating; their pride has been ripped to shreds enough you evil one.

But rarely, if they have

Advertisements

Author: ma'habocath

ma'habocath knows some, tells much. ma'habocath knows few things others do. This one is a live-alone, full-time burger-flipper with an odd mind and too much to say. ma'hab always tries the best ma'hab can to keep up: • Chores • Bodybuilding and other health-nuttery • Japanese language studies • Culinary experimentation (see “other health-nuttery”) • Exploration of newfound spiritual territory • Exploration of my Self • Figuring out how to socialize well enough, mostly face-to-face • Backlogs: books, heavy metal, anime • Blogging, chatting, texting, and talking to whomever will listen about all of the above

1 thought on “how to deal with the stubbornly wrong? just ask why.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s